Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
