I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
