if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
