I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
