one two three fourrrrnication!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
