Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
