For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I woke up under a house in Key West
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