I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize