so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
