Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
