She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
