just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
