Do you still have your period?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
