I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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