Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he puts the penis in happiness.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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