that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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