Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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