He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
