Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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