So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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