I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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