wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He felt like a one man threesome
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
