dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
