Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
