He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
