A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
