You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
