How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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