i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
