New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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