A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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