im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
