Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
