i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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