dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
