The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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