Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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