So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
