she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
