Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
