Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nicole vs. Life
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
