dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
