We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
