2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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