not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
