OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
