My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
