I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
