Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
