Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
