ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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