Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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