Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
