I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
